Tackling Anxiety and Depression

 Welcome to The Cherry On Top.

After a quick bit of research through the blog, I wanted to see if I had anything on anxiety and how to get the heck over it. I thought for sure I wrote something about it, but couldn't find a thing. Even the AuSumness blog didn't have anything. (That's a blog dedicated to Autism.) There's so, so much I want to share. I'll break the information over a few entries being sure to link up all of the parts on each blog.

I am not a doctor nor a psychologist. I'm simply sharing my experience with anxiety from start to finish. Take the information and apply it how you see fit and maybe in conjunction with a doctor if and where necessary.

When I was at my worst, I couldn't imagine doing something like this.

I was brainstorming on where to start and I thought I'd start with my first epic anxiety attack. At the time, I had no idea I had anxiety. I didn't know I had it. My doctor didn't know what was wrong with me either. Eating was very difficult and I lost a lot weight, hovering around 100 pounds.

Allow me to share my symptoms in hopes of shedding some light on this mentally and physically debilitating illness. I seemed to do ok during the day and as evening closed in, everything got worse. I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. My heart pounded and I was sure I was having a heart attack. I wasn't really nauseous, but I felt like I could puke, all of the time. Sometimes I did heave, but nothing came out. Looking back, when I was alone, I did better because I had to and when I had support, I'd fall apart.

Several times, I was rushed to the ER from hives that covered every inch of my body and even the inside. I'd get them in my throat which blocked my breathing. Fun! I was ridiculously tired at night. My hubs had to carry me into the bedroom and help me to bed.

I'll tell ya, it nearly killed me to be so sick and helpless. Without regressing too much, my young adult life was extremely difficult. I dealt with hunger and homelessness amongst other worse unsavory dilemmas, but it didn't bother me much. I was always so resilient! Always optimistic that it was just all a phase and that everything would get better with determination, which I had more than enough of and hard work.

That's a big part of why I couldn't believe I had anxiety and still find it hard to believe. I suppose aging, having two young boys with Autism and living outside of my home country could have contributed to the mix. 

I was scouring the internet, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. I ate healthy. I was physically active. I believe I found my answer in a comment on a post about a gluten free diet, thinking I may have had some kind of food allergy. The light went on! I just knew, then and there that was it. So, I dug deeper and read and read about anxiety and sealed the deal. Once I could finally diagnose myself, the doctor agreed. 

I resisted medication at the start because I rarely to never take pharmaceuticals. I never really needed them, before. After many months of feeling like and wanting to die and the weight loss and feeling helpless, I caved and took the antidepressants.

Again, I am not a doctor, but I find it pertinent to share this story and my findings in hopes of helping or even saving someone else. I would never, ever recommend antidepressants. If you are considering them, by all means do a lot of research. They are bad news. Many of today's mass killers are on them. They totally (excuse me) fuck with your brain. Bad, bad news. The worst part, like many other pharmaceutical interventions, they do not cure you. The number of people that kill themself whilst on antidepressants is appalling and makes their use highly questionable.

Antidepressants numb you. They disguise your symptoms and bring on a ton of new ones. The first two pills I took had me crawling on the bathroom floor, flapping and moaning for hours. The doctor recommended sticking with them. Ugh! My hubs was most concerned about the reaction I had, but I motored on and eventually turned into a careless zombie on day three. 

Nothing was awesome and enjoyable. Every single thing was, meh. I didn't know who I was because I was the complete opposite of myself. I was an insane, Energizing Bunny, neat freak, but then I gained 30 pounds in 30 days and the place was a mess. My knees were killing me from the rapid weight gain. I couldn't sleep at all. Not even for a few hours. I started falling asleep at traffic lights and at dinner parties, but when I could slip into bed, I couldn't sleep. Never mind the endless night terrors!

Why on earth do doctors not recommend a psychiatrist when taking these pills? I studied a lot of psychology in university which probably was a huge help getting to understand everything I was going through.

OK. Now, I want to get into a closer view of the symptoms of anxiety and why I think it's similar to depression and how my tips will most probably help both illnesses. 

This might be a tough one for some. I think, both anxiety and depression are for the most part, self inflicted. Whether through thoughts and or diet and your diet's effect on your hormones in the case of depression. That being said, we can also cure ourselves. Isn't that the best? But wait! Not only can we be cured, it won't cost you a penny. You don't even have to leave your home and you'll love the new you and so will those around you.

One of the first things you have to figure out is what is triggering your anxiety. I was plagued with negative thoughts and I might guess that people who are depressed do the same, but in a slightly different way. My experience and the experience of a few others I spoke with with the same aliment agreed that with anxiety we keep horrific scenes in our brain. Ones where the plane crashes with all of our loved ones on it. Where the car gets slammed by a semi truck on the way to the beach. Where my child starts choking and I can't save him and on and on and on....Day after day. Then hour after hour and minute after minute.

This cyclical doom thinking more than likely produces way too much cortisol in the blood which starts to make us also physically ill in a variety of ways. Share with me and our readers, in the comments, if this is not similar to depression. I'll go out on a limb and suggest that depression is when we have negative thoughts about ourselves and anxiety is when we have them about others? Just a guess. When I think of my friends who are depressed they seem thoroughly self absorbed to the point where they barely even notice others or consider other's feelings.

Why would we be given antidepressants when we are not depressed, but panicked and anxious? Perhaps that is how I could connect depression with anxiety? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Let's dive into triggers and we'll end there.

Eating was one of my triggers. I was in a cycle of thinking I was going to get a stomach ache after eating and more than likely, gave myself a stomach ache for thinking like this all of the time.

Leaving the house was another trigger. I couldn't stand it and I was really, really upset with my husband for making me leave because I just felt like walking death and I felt super, super embarrassed because I would lose all of my color and I kept trying to catch my breath by breathing in deep. Everyone kept asking, "what's wrong". I would totally recommend allowing someone to stay at home for awhile as they start to accept their illness and begin to heal and slowly draw them from the home with nice things to do, first. We'll go into more details on how you can help in another blog.

Yet another trigger was particular people. Hmmm...My first and perhaps the worst panic or anxiety attack I had was when visiting my best friend. OMG! What?! Why would visiting my best friend give me anxiety? Was it leaving the house and thinking I was going to crash or die and leave my children parentless? Was I going to choke on something at the dinner table or die of embarrassment because I couldn't hold in a fart when everything was so quiet?

This revelation also revealed to me that my best friend was definitely not the best. She brought on a boatload of drama. She was completely self absorbed and rarely reciprocated authentic love. No one had it worse than her. No one understood her or felt what she felt. She diminished everything everyone did and is obviously, no longer a friend. This is what they call detox. More later!

Can you see how crazy busy and ridiculous these thoughts were? These dreadful circular thoughts are like poison, people! They literally poison us and make us ill. They must be stopped and I will help you with that.

In order to find your triggers you may have to stand outside of yourself and spectate your behavior through a microscope. What exactly were you doing when your heart started beating out of control? What exactly were you thinking about when you started feeling sick and or sad? Finding the triggers are essential for healing. It might hurt and actually it should hurt a little because it will help you understand better and help you be more sympathetic with others. Like an alcoholic or drug attic, you gotta admit that this is your problem. Playing the blame game is not going to make you or anyone else feel better.

I'd also recommend not scolding people for not understanding. It certainly doesn't help the issue. It may actually help foster what's really going on. This is all you for the most part which is really a good thing because no one can control your destiny better than you. You are going to save yourself! You can't rely on others to do it for you or even help you through it. I suggest having zero expectation from others and rely solely on yourself. If others are indeed helpful, then be grateful. Gratitude is also an excellent healing treatment.

I hope this piece has opened your eyes and your heart. With much love, I hope you can begin to heal as we progress in this series. You can totally do this. It is definitely worth the work. It won't be easy and it'll take quite awhile, but we know what happens to those who wait...

How to Design Gorgeous Planters and Container Gardens on the Cheap

Welcome to The Cherry On Top.

Are you a garden person or do ya just love pretty things? I want a lovely garden and yard, but honestly, I'm not so super at it. I've been trying to master container gardens for decades. I have several books in my library and I've finally figured out how to do it right. Let me show ya what I've done and you can see if it will work for you and your containers.

Check out this sweet harvest from our garden and we've got a tiny yard. I should totally share how we have nearly a dozen fruit trees, fruit bushes, a greenhouse and containers on a tiny plot around our house. Stay tuned!

I didn't think I could harvest so much by the start of July. I think the greenhouse had a lot to do with it. I've got several garden related blogs like the one below about eggplants. Not only are they really beautiful, delicious they produce fruit for several months. Check out the blog, get some amazing recipe ideas and a bunch of fun, free printables.

Above, is my eggplant in July and it is still alive in November with fruit!

This plant is now a bush in November and as you can see, full of fruit.

If you're a fan of The Cherry, then ya know I love my girls. The image is linked up to a piece about gardening with chickens. It sure as hell isn't easy. Especially if you're girls are left running around the yard, like mine. I've got an enormous chicken collection throughout several blogs and it's all free.

My silly girls, follow me all over the place and then they just chill and preen. I love chickens.

I gave away this entire collection including several word art. It's so, so cute. I just love it.

Let's get started on those containers.

I saw a lot of people in my area use this ornamental type of grass and it comes back year after year and is super easy to maintain. I love that! It's also tall and long which is ideal for containers. You can't always have height in your containers, but when you can, let me share how I work with it. The grass was 4 Euros.

For this planter, I put the high grass in the middle and the low, hanging flowers all around it. These little white flowers are one of my all time favorites. I'm so sorry! I don't know what they are called. They grow up just a few inches and even hang just a bit. They spread out fairly well, but I always fill the space with them. You can see, I just left a few inches without plants.

I use rocks and mulch on the top to help retain moisture because container gardens and pots can dry out rather fast which isn't always easy. We had a crazy dry summer. Well, we've been having very dry summers for several years. These huge pots are ok for dry weather, but small pots are not at all great. Neither are those hanging baskets. Those are the worst for dry conditions. I hardly every use them any more. Unless, I know I'm going to be home for a long time. You can also use mulch and rocks at the bottom of your containers for drainage and help prevent root rot.

My hubs always wanted a palm tree. I don't find it very fitting for Germany, but I thought I'd finally buy him one. They are usually expensive, but this one was on sale for about 15 Euros and those marigold around it were like .79 cents and the dangling lovelies were around 1 Euro. The huge pots I used came with the old house we bought.

Large pots can cost a fortune! I get mine at thrift stores, garage sales and occasionally, a neighbor might put a bunch out on the street that they want to get rid of. Whoo hoo! I do encourage you to fill up the pots with good soil whenever you can. When I was budgeting hard core, I'd fill the pots with recycled paper and empty plastic pots. This does not give great results, but if you don't have the dosh for soil, it is an alternative.

You can see this pot is old. I considered painting it, but I already had so much to do. I still might get around to it, but I doubt it. You'll need paint that can handle the outdoors and water and or you could put some kind of varnish over the top to help with that. I'm not a huge fan of chemicals. So, I just deal with the worn look.

Above I've got this tall plant, lovely draping plants and adorable, tiny flowers in between. Again the tall plant is in the center with the other two varieties surrounding it. All of the plants I chose were some of the least expensive ones in the nursery. Learn which nursery or hardware store has the best plants so they last. The large plant was 8 Euros and the others were under 2 Euros a piece. If you have the budget, try not to be stingy when planting your containers. Fill in the area as best you can considering growth as well. That's really helped my containers look great. Easier said than done.

This planter just makes me smile. The pot came with the house and it is huge. The plant is a lantana and it flowered all spring and summer. I chose a flowering plant for around it with the same colors, pink and yellow. It looks like a mini petunia. I could have planted a few more in there.

Come to think of it, planting containers is a lot like scrapbooking! Ha! Repeat colors for cohesion and go with contrasting textures. This large plant, again in the center, has larger pointy leaves and the ones underneath have tiny longer leaves. The large plant has a darker shade of leaf and the little plants have a lighter green.

I always put my plants together at the nursery to make sure they match. Sometimes it takes awhile until I get it just right. I've been at it for so long, I'm getting to learn my plants which makes the process a lot easier.

Here are some more containers, showing off the tips I gave, but this time the higher plants are towards the back of the pots next to medium sized ones and with the lower plants and draping plants in the front and or around the edges. That's also how you manipulate clusters on scrapbook pages.

I got so lucky! My planters matched my Halloween garden flag I designed and had printed.

Here's a low, ever green in the back, not too high with lower, colorful, draping flowers. I particularly enjoy a color palette with no more than 3 different colors. It looks chaotic to me if there are too many different colors or too many different kinds of plants. Repetition brings me peace, zen. 

You can barely even see the pot with this hanging plant that usually has flowers. It's been in the pot for several years now. I have to dig out the other plants that shares the container and replace it with a higher, new one.

Another example. Again, my apologies for not knowing the names of these plants. I'll try to keep that in mind for next time. That draping plant is a favorite that I buy every year. The tall one is a wild oregano that must have seeded from another plant.

Above is a long, ever green conifer in the back with a Dusty Miller also towards the back and pansies all around the front. Dusty Millers can get enormous, but of course, you can trim them. The bees loved the flowers which were still around in the fall.

Consider the plant at hand. Below is wisteria and hosta. They will grow enormous. The hosta can be divided and that wisteria will go in the ground, soon. You won't want to couple up these plants with other plants because they will be quickly over grown. You might get a way with one season. In the ground, it would be doable, but again, keep in mind the growth potential of your plants.

That large hanging wall mounted basket is a total pain in the butt. It is nearly impossible to keep moist. It is in a super sunny spot and because of the shape and size, it doesn't allow for too much soil. I put geraniums in there. They are not my favorite plant, but they are pretty tough. I put ivy all around and through the spaces to fill it up. I lined it with a coconut mat, but the water just runs right through it. Especially, when it is really hot and dry.

Here are some top view examples of how you can arrange your pots. Notice how I use the same plants over and over.

Some of these plants are from the summer. They don't look great, but I have a tough time throwing out plants that are still alive. I add fresh ones when necessary.

Looks like Heather, Salvia, Dusty Miller and another usually fab plant that seeds rather well, but does much better in the ground. Not the best example.

Very important to keep in mind is to choose plants that have the same watering requirements. For instance, if you wanted to put together an herb vessel, you wouldn't put rosemary with parsley because rosemary hardly needs any water whilst parsley needs a lot.

See my olive tree? They re usually very pricey. I got lucky when I spotted this one for only 19 Euros at the hardware store. I paired it up with lavender and creeping rosemary. Both are super hardy, heat and dry tolerant. Ideal for a hot, sunny spot. I can't find my close up. I had it planted in a spot, but it was rather shady. So, I moved it to a super sunny spot.

Check those little tags and look on the pots for information about the plant of your choice to make sure that water requirements are the same.

Above is that basket from a previous pic, but this was the beginning. It got so darn heavy, it was bending my shepherd's hook. This basket is huge. So watering it is a lot easier than a small one. I had put a plastic bag on the bottom in hopes of retaining more water.

Isn't it just stunning!? I used chives for the hight. It gave length, it flowers, repells pests and it is edible. Of course you have to be careful planting edibles by inedibles. When you are short on space, put edible plants in with other flowery ones. So you see, small medium and large plants and how they are distributed.

Just look what we have here. An enormous sage plant. Y'all sage is the bomb. I don't know what the hell to eat with it, but it is forever green, it grows like a weed, the bees absolutely love the purple flowers, you can make incredibly nutritious tea with it and you can burn it in your house as a detox. Cool, eh? 

Salvia is a hardy plant that gives a deep green foliage, purple hued flowers and it's nice and high, too. Bees love it as well. To the left is a huge box container full of Mediterranean herbs. The dry ones. Like Thyme and Rosemary. Those little yellow flowers are the cutest darn thing and they did great all summer long. They look like tiny petunias. That's a tomato plant that just started growing there. So, I left it, but my potted tomatoes and veg never, ever do well. I've given up!

That's kiwi growing up the wall. The green does great and it grows, but we were never able to eat any fruit or it didn't fruit. It is an easy plant and I'd try again. That box in the middle boasts lavender, celery and parsley. I wouldn't normally plant these together because lavender doesn't need much water at all which is not at all the case with the other two, but the parsley and lavender just started growing there with the celery I planted. I had lavender and chives growing all over the entire yard and even in the cracks of the driveway!

Speaking of petunias. Hehehe... This outside area is where we lived. I even made a little outdoor kitchen. Again, don't be stingy when planting those balcony boxes. I always, always use under coasters for water. You may have to periodically empty them if it rains persistently. They can give your plants root rot and they can get stinky.

How to tolerate ironing? Surround yourself with flowers, a gorgeous view of nature and bubbles.

These petunias were not all that much work. There was a lot of deadheading which is really important. The more you deadhead, the more flowers you'll get. They did require quite some water. The longer or deeper your balcony box is, the less you'll have to water.

I ordered that huge pot from the Aldi online. It was 9 Euros! I got two. The big pot contains a beyond fabulous lilly. It did ok in the pot, but the next year, I planted it in the ground and wow! It is beyond gorgeous and is still doing great years later. A dude at the nursery gave me a tip. He said, when the frost gets to it and you cut it back, cover the area in the winter, then uncover as it warms up. Works great! I just put an empty pot over it.

Teamed up with the lily is a starkly contrasting snap dragon. Snap dragons and pansies seed like no other plants in my experience and I love free plants! Note the height differences, contrasting greens, textures and repetition of pink.

All righty! Look what we have, here. A mammoth basil plant, chives that provide height, lovely bee attracting flowers and some drape. Wow! Then a few colorful, low mini petunia thingies, again. I love this container and most of it is edible.  Ooh! I see our grapes, too. We will definitely be planting more grapes in our new/old house. Did you know the blooms smell absolutely divine?

Here's a straw flower. It's great in the heat and can handle some dry, but I wouldn't buy it again. That plant surrounding it is just top. I use it all of the time. It's very, very hardy and needs little attention.

I thought for sure I had an image where a potato was growing in the container? Darn! I'll have to look for it. As an experiment, I planted potatoes in pots along with low flowering plants. Did you know they provide a very tall, lovely green plant? I didn't even really buy it. I just used small green potatoes or potatoes that were growing huge root thingies. I did it in a bunch of pots and ended up with a dozen potatoes. Two birds with one stone! I somehow ended up with potatoes growing all over the place. I guess the plants seeded?

I hope you could use some of these images for inspiration. I have hundreds more photos of my gardens and containers. I'll be back with more ideas for you and hopefully a few more tips I learn along the way. Ooh! Maybe orchid tips? I have pretty good luck with orchids and a sweet collection including a monster orchid that's over 10 years old and rarely stops flowering. Cool, eh?

Thanks for checking out The Cherry.

Happy gardening!

Free Globe Scrapbooking Template and Free Travel Digital Designs

Welcome to The Cherry On Top.

Is time flying or what?! I canNOT believe it is November, but here we are. Only one more template to go this year. Would you like more next year? Convince me! Hehehe... I've got some on tap, but I'm feeling under inspired. Talk me into it? (Insert cheeky emoji of your choice.) To think I was toying with the idea of a template subscription plan? If you like that idea, talk me into it! Hehehe...

Scroll through this blog and get inspired and see some of the stuff you may have missed.

I scrapped with the template and I'm still hoping my team will play or maybe you? Share it in the group and I'll put your page on my blog. Think about it? You'll be published!

This is my friend in Amsterdam on one of our trips. We're getting all set for Norway in the summer. Can you believe it? We are not exactly spring chickens, but we're out there doing it. How about you?

I kept my page super simple and used the Dutchie scrapbooking collection I designed for you. Scrapbook quickly and beautifully with The Cherry.

You can have simplify beautiful pages. If you're designing an entire album you might not have hours and hours for one page. Here's a great idea for quick scrapping. Large photos, large title and one cluster, copy/pasted. Hello? Did ya know it can be this easy and pretty?

Large photos, blow up those ellies, add some matting and you're all scrapped up. It's really crazy easy and all of this stuff is FREE. So, no excuses!

The collection has a bunch of free word art. You'll have to scroll through and find them all.

Below, is the last free template for the year. Shoo! Did ya miss any? No worries! They are all available in one easy download pack in the shop and they are cheaper than a good cup of coffee. If you've been downloading like crazy, how about a little payback with a purchase?
 

Here are some winter pages from a previous blog with a travel theme.

I've got several blogs on travel. Here's one for Monschau, Germany.

This link will take you to another blog for traveling to Monschau in the winter. Cool, eh?

Here's all of the templates from this year's Big Bundle.

Take a look around the blog or pop in the shop.

Thanks for stopping by The Cherry!

Travel Scavenger Hunt for Bremm Germany on the Mosel

Welcome to The Cherry On Top.

I've got something totally different for you in this blog. A scavenger hunt! If I get any kind of positive response, I'd be happy to make more travel scavenger hunts in the various places I travel. So, if you like the idea hit me up in the comments.

I have a huge write up for all kinds of things to do along the Mosel if you need more to do. The area is really gorgeous, but it isn't exactly bustling with high end shopping streets, museums and theaters, though you can find a few of those here and there and of course in the large towns like Trier and Koblenz.

This scavenger hunt is brought to you by the small, beautiful village, Bremm. It is nestled in between the Kalmont and the Mosel. It's fairly centered between Cochem and Zell. A little closer to Zell. Bremm is home to just over 500 people.

You'll find a few restaurants and plenty of places to try wine. Most of the restaurants close from November through April. Keep that in mind with your planning. There are other places open in larger towns, but it is slim pickens.

Let's get started with the hunt. It's kind of in order, but not exactly. I may give some hints in another blog, but it really shouldn't be all that difficult. I'll leave some clues here and there and y'all let me know if something is moved or gone. I did go for things that I thought were already there hundreds of years. Hehehe...

There are several entries into the village. If you take the one in middle, you'll end up in the middle of town. There isn't all that much parking and the two hotels usually get most of the spots, but cruising down to the other parking areas will give you more spaces. The best place for large vehicles and RV's is the furthest entry or that closest to Eller.

If you park in the middle, you won't be too far from your first destination and starting point.

You can take pics of everything as you find them or just make a mental note. You could print the blog and check them off as you go.

Germany is still a very religious country and I did use quite a few religious items.

This is also in the main part of town. Nearly all of the restaurants are on the front line. There's pizza and another snack place on Auf Calais.

Don't go filling up your water with this stuff, but let the kids play and give the doggo a sip.

This one's a little tricky. This is my favorite spot in all of Bremm. When you go through this tunnel, (from the other direction) you'll feel like you've gone back in time.

There are some seriously cool doors in Bremm. I could have a hunt just for those.

Pay attention to details. See if there are any figs available.

Nearly everyone in Bremm has something to do with wine.

Here's yet another fountain and a place to kop a squat and throw away your trash.

The flowers might not be there if you go off season.

If you get this far, keep going up the mountain, pass the church, to the flags. You'll get a gorgeous view!

Keep your eye on the time. The bells are crazy loud when you're standing under them.

Check out the wine machine yourself and fuel up the doggo.

If ya find this, take a deep breath and look all around. Isn't it beautiful?

Actually, this is a whole other thing you can do in Bremm and it will take you hours. This is the first marker of the march.

Find all of these markers and the trail!

So, how are you doing so far? Easy?

This is a rather popular lady. Many people pose in a picture with her. Your turn! Leave one for us in the comments

There certainly is plenty of water to be found around Bremm.

Bremm has a couple of these pedestrian only paths. I love those! Take this one half way down and find your next task.

I have no idea!

Go ahead and have a seat. You'll need to in order to get this picture. Unless, your 6 years old or a midget.

Maybe I should paint this so you can actually see what it says?

Sometimes they take the benches down or the wood from the benches down. You're going to have to choose one of several paths to get this picture just right. There are several clues in the pic.

Did ya know that in the fall, the leaves of the grapes correspond with wether the grape is yellow/green or red/purple? This bench was been put here recently. However, it looks most aged. If it isn't there, just take the pic anyway. The views are pretty sweet from here. Take another break if you need. Those mountains sure are steep!

The town got together and designed and implemented this fabulous playground for the little and not so little ones. The big kids still have plenty to do here, too. The zip line is really fun! Maybe you'll be here for a soccer match?

There are a few of these around Bremm. Make sure you get the right one! It may look very different depending on what time of year it is.

You can visit Bremm any time of year. It is always gorgeous. Hiking and wine tasting is a great way to spend your days.

OK, now you're going back in to the new part of the village. If you keep going straight, you'll end up at the nifty shop where you can get a fresh baked pastry, pretzel or even a hot cup of coffee.

Did you find them all? Let me know how it went in the comments.

Enjoy your travel along the Mosel. It is magical!